Blockbusterish: Live Free or Die Hard

Live Free or Die Hard (20th Century Fox, PG-13)

No one can say John McClane (Bruce Willis) doesn’t try. No New York City cop has single handedly thwarted as many terrorist plots or killed as many Euro-trash bad guys. And just when McClane has settled into a cozy life of divorced, over-protective dad-dom...guess who needs his help?

For one, nerdy computer hacker Matt Farrell (Justin Long) needs his help. McClane is sent to bring Farrell in for questioning after the FBI realizes that their computer files were hacked. What starts off as a routine suspect transport quickly turns into a life-or-death struggle, as McClane faces off against a band of henchmen sent by super-hacker Thomas Gabriel (Timothy Olyphant) to kill our favorite Mac advocate.

Remember when McClane was the baddest hero on the block? No? Well, that’s because it’s been a long time, my friend. McClane is still a real guy who can think (or, more often, shoot) his way out of any problem. But do we care anymore?

Honestly, the answer is a little bit yes and a little bit no. Any action fan is going to love the adrenaline in the fast paced, almost non-stop action. McClane and the baddies are up to their old tricks: jumping, running, shooting, crashing and bleeding with the best of them. I’ve read that most of the action sequences were actually stunts as opposed to being filled with CGI and other computer-assisted whatnot, and you can tell. You feel like you’re in the action a lot of the time; whether it’s a blackout that causes a dangerous traffic jam in a New York City tunnel, or an explosion that threatens to flatten McClane and Farrell.

So, what’s the problem? Well, I was surprised that I didn’t feel very…excited. There was no edge-of-the-seat-nervous-stomach stuff that usually comes with rooting for an underdog in an impossible situation. Can McClane get out before the room blows up? Will he survive an attack by a karate-chopping badass? Is he going to get past Gabriel’s disciples to face off with the man himself? Of course! He’s John McClane, fucker!

My only real issue with Live Free or Die Hard (cool title, by the way) is that for all the magnificent action, the series is just tired. We know McClane is going to win. Everything. Against everyone. All the time. Yes, he gets banged up, but we never believe he’s in actual danger because he’s always made it through before.

And Willis? I like him, so I hate to say it, but he’s tired, too. At least he looks and sounds tired throughout the film. Frankly, that doesn’t help things a bit. To a certain extent I understand that may have been a conscious choice. The guy’s got to be thinking, “I’ve got to save the country by myself, again? Really?” But we don’t need that telegraphed to us for the entire movie. Every time Willis appeared on screen I sensed lethargy. The exact opposite of what you need in an action movie.

Listen to me, Bruce. When they try to talk you into Die Hard 5: Even Harder Dying, yell “yippee ki yay,” turn, and slowly walk away.